Sub-editor humour

Someone at The Age just could not help themselves. Nothing like an old adult cinema gag....

Our Foreign Minister's attempt at policy debate

That fat ponce Alexander Downer is at it again.

Earlier this week in The Australian he accused Kevin Rudd of being a boy in a bubble, because

He wants to pretend Australia can abandon Iraq, retreat to "our own backyard" and leave others to carry the burden of the great global security challenges of the day. He scarcely considers the consequences beyond the next 24-hour news cycle.

Downer also goes on to say that "maintenance of global security will sometimes require Australia to shoulder its share of responsibility, even when that involves difficult choices" and that Rudd is "unfit to lead the nation [as a] foreign policy imposter".

Extraordinarily he states that Australia, presumably under his bumbling, stuttering, overweight English-school boy act as Foreign Minister has a "sophisticated strategy of global engagement". Why is it that coming from his pen that sounds like semi-colonial rhetoric? And why is our sophisticated strategy so damn similar to that of the US?

All of this is a bit rich coming from a man who in January 2003 claimed it would be "folly in the extreme" to send Australian troups to the Solomon Islands because "foreigners do not have answers for the deep seated problems afflicting the Solomon Islands" and "our intervention would only delay the inevitable."

Apparently Alex wasn't thinking much beyond a seven month news cycle when he also said of such an intervention that "It would be very difficult to justify to Australian taxpayers" because by July he had changed his mind and Australian troups were on the ground. However that didn't stop the 2006 rioting and looting in Honiara, or the persecution of the Chinese there.

In today's Herald Sun Downer has another go at Rudd, saying that after his visit to Iraq and Afghanistan, he believes that our presence is necessary. It would be funny where it not so pathetically tragic for him to boast "General Petraeus told me [out troops] were world leaders, making an invaluable contribution." Anyone else get the sense that Lexie is really excited to be playing on the big stage with the boys with real guns.

Downer even goes on to say "As I told Prime Minister Maliki and President Karzai, their governments need to make tough decisions." A big call from a man whose government has said in response to a United Nations Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination that "in the end we are not going to be told what to do by anybody" because these matters should be resolved by Australians, not by foreign bodies who "failed to grapple with the unique and
complex history of race relations in Australia."

I don't purport to know all the answers and I am all for a serious debate about our role in Iraq, one that doesn’t talk about "emboldening terrorists," "appeasement" or "poll driven sloganeering". However I don't think Downer is the man to take us on that debate. I am also finding it particularly hard to take him seriously after seeing that "I'm so freaky" number in Keating the Musical that seems him adorned in fishnet stockings and a feather boa. Even seeing him in a tuxedo makes me feel strangely ill.

Having faith in our crime fighters

Well, this little story in the Age is comforting. The story focuses on the request by the "Universal Tube & Rollform Equipment Corporation" for YouTube to either stop using that domain name, or to assist in setting up a new one to replace utube.com. Seems the poor pipe manufacturers are being inundated with emails they don't want. Fair enough, just another news report you might say.

The disturbing bit is the part relating to the Sexual Crimes Squad. One Detective Senior Sergeant who apparently had the "right intention" emailed You Tube to ask them to remove footage taken from a DVD that relates to a rape investigation. Except that the Detective Senior Sergeant emailed the wrong address.

OK, I can understand how amateur pornographers and people who tape things for Funniest Video Shows could make that mistake and get utube.com mixed up with youtube.colm, but the Sexual Crimes Squad?

Can you imagine the conversation:

Cop 1:"Hey, mate can you email that tube site and ask them to take it off"

Cop 2:"Yeah sure. Hey how do you spell it?"

Cop 1:"I dunno"

Cop 2:"Does u-t-u-b-e.com sound about right?"

Cop 1:"Yeah, she'll be right mate"

Give me Marita Hargitay any day.

And in startling news just to hand

The Age is reporting that real estate agents are still underquoting.

This is almost as astonishing as the reports in The Age earlier the week that pregnant women suffer discrimination at work and that "Babies still put a bump in women's career paths."

What next? Stories that tell us "Aboriginal people are discriminated against", "Shane Warne is not monogamous" or "Many Australians are actually racist."

At the risk of turning this into a purely political blog...

...or of further upsetting my lovely and sensible fellow bloggers (see last post) has anyone see the article by Neil Mitchell in today's Herald Sun ?

Apparently the racist attack on a Jewish man and his children in Caulfield last week by a bunch of footy players was "not all bad news" because Neil has surmised:

• Anybody could have been the target of this - "Jew, Muslim, Aboriginal, Asian, Greek, Italian". Apparently women can also be the target of yobbos.
• While it was "reasonable" for the victim to object to being called a "f--- Jew " while hearing the cheer "go Nazis" we should ask if it was reasonable for him to approach the bus the players were travelling in. Neil thinks that this escalated the "clash from ugly to violent". The "good news" is that the decision to approach the bus turned out to be OK because it another person intervened. This person we are told was "not a Jew" but was "sufficiently outraged to pursue the bus". A few others helped as well and that, according to Neil, was a "statement of deceny because these people identified as unacceptable the actions of a few idiots". (Obviously without their actions, readers of the Herald Sun would have been unable to make this judgement for themselves).
• The President of the Ocean Grove Football Club has been "decent and sensible" because he was appalled at what happened and hoped that those involved would meet the victim and apologise to him, and that they would visit the Holocaust Museum.
• Other "average Australians" have also expressed their "outrage and committement to decency"

In conclusion, Neil tells us that the victim has been exposed to a "snapshot of Australia:we have a few yobbos, a smattering of racism, a good deal of decency, a mix of cultures, dashes of prejudice, an underlying base of fairness, an edge of danger with our blokey culture, and too much fondness for too much alcohol."

Well, I feel better.

Anyone else want to stalk the Ocean Grove Football Club next year. We can turn up to their matches, laugh at their physical appearance and crack jokes about the deaths on the Melbourne-Geelong Road and the Pyramid Bank collapse. Let's make sure we do it in full view of their children as well, for good measure.

I need a gin.

Spot the inconsistency

It is five years since the Siev X sank with the loss of 353 asylum seekers. On Friday the Age published this photo of Hazam Al Rowaimi who lost his mother, wife and children when the boat sank off Australian waters . At the time Australia's then Immigration Minister, then Defence Minister and the Prime Minister John Howard announced that a number of children on the vessel had been thrown overboard. This was later found to be untrue, but not before it was an issue at an election which John Howard was returned to power.

Apparently a Commonwealth Government Agency have stopped plans for a memorial in Canberra on the basis that it can't be erected until 10 years after the event.

It has been six weeks since Steve Irwin died. Apparently our Prime Minister John Howard has said he would be holding discussions soon about a permanent memorial as "I certainly know that the people want it and we've had some very good suggestions and I hope we can come up with a sensible proposal."

Differences between Melbourne and Sydney

Now don't get me wrong - I like Sydney a lot and don't buy into the whole city-bashing rivalry thing. I don't choose to live there being more of a Batville girl myself, but I appreciate the city.

Interesting though the top news stories currently at The Age v The Sydney Morning Herald . The Age's most viewed story is Snaps show Mars rover on brink of discovery with nice photo of a crater photographed by NASA. The SMH's most popular story is entitled Bras keep abreast and tells a story about how Berlei have conducted a survey and discovering that Australian women's breasts are getting larger.

If only

Listening to News Radio (as one does when travelling home from another fruitless day in the office) I swear I heard a John Howard malapropism. Our PM declared that he couldn't take action over something because the Government would not go "open splatter". Personally I would welcome a bit of open splatter in Australian politics right now - would amp up the interest level.