It is that one day in September...

So it is Grand Final day in Melbourne and there is that fever in the air (which is as yet imperceptible to me as I haven't left the house). My day will start soon with a post-hangover breakfast somewhere where I don't have to be nice to anyone, followeed by a short period of "walking in the fresh air" recovery and then catching up with a friend who is borrowing stuff from me for a big GF BBQ. I'll drop into said BBQ for a short time and then onto the 'G. According to the AFL, the day will go something like this:

1. 10am TAC Cup Grand Final (Ms Batvillle care factor of -1)
2. 12.50am Red Berets parachute into MCG, delivering match-day footballs (Whatever)
3. 1pm Teams warm-up (Will be entering the ground about now)
4. 1.25pm Irene Cara performs What a Feeling (How embarrassing for her - bet she never thought her career would take her to this place)
5. 1.29pm Australian Idol finalists perform Waltzing Matilda (Love the song esp when performed at big public gatherings but not sure about Idol - personally would prefer Hugh Jackman, in tight pans, shirtless etc etc - you get the idea)
6. (Surely the RAAF Roulettes have to appear about now - I didn't pay $80 for a ticket to actually watch two non-Victorian clubs play if the Roulettes don't appear)
7. 1.36pm Motorcade of AFL greats, retirees and 2006 award winners as the Young Divas perform You’re the Inspiration (Song sounds awful but love this bit - clap on the old gents of yesterday and laugh as some recently retired bogans get a huge clap while they silently thank their club for paying out their sexual haharassment claims so they can start their landscaping business unencumbered)
8. 1.42pm Club songs performed by Melbourne Gospel Choir (Thank god we don't have to listen to that Port Power song this year - would slit my wrists)
9. 1.46pm Australian rock legends perform medley of hits (OMG - John Paul Young - YAH, YAH, YAH. Ms Batville will sing heartily along to Up there Cazaly to prove she is a real Victorian!)
10. 2.16pm Umpires enter the arena (Goldspink is umpiring - WTF?)
11. 2.27pm Australian rock legends perform Advance Australia Fair (Love this bit)
12. 2.28pm Coin toss
13. 2.30pm 2006 Toyota AFL Grand Final (Hope it is a good one - if not will nick off early and go back to the BBQ)

Hope your team wins and that you have a good one.

Ms Batville - slowly resuming normal transmission

Yah - my mojo seems to be returning. Not to the point where I actually accomplished much today but at least I seem to be able to contemplate achieving something tomorrow. The little black rain cloud has moved on. We're not quite in full sun yet, more like overcast with moments of sunniness.

So, in that vein a list of things that made Ms Batville happy today:

1. A postcard from a friend in Boston of a very elegant photo of Jackie circa 1962 - apparently he saw it and thought it resembled me - Wow.
2. Larry Mullen Jnr's treatment of autograph scalpers courtesy of Scatter - God I love U2.
3. Pulling up next to a wanker in a sportscar at lights a mere 200 metres after he tried to run me off the road doing some ridiculous speed. Even better - when the light changed, my little rust box took off and he ... stalled. Hah!
4. Buying some Green Tea perfume at Elizabeth Arden and getting quite a good GWP (Gift with Purchase)
5. Margaret Whitlam's comments about Janette Howard. Good old Margaret - bless her. My respect for Gough grows ever time I think about his choice of wife.
6. Knowing that tomorrow is end of the month at work, and despite my lethargy, my group will still have met our targets.
7. Having AFL Grand Final tickets. OK so I don't follow either team (but I am an AFL member so am justified in having a ticket) but I do love a good GF and I simply love love love the bit where the RAAF Roulettes swoop down over the 'G and scare the bejusus out of everyone. I also adore the way that the singing of our national anthem degenerates in the last four seconds amongst a very bloky chorus of "Go Swans/Go Weagles/Go Wirra/ Go Goodey etc".
8. Seeing that a few new people checked out my poor little neglected blog and stayed for more than 10 seconds - WOOHOO. So to them I say - come back - and - have a great weekend. May your team win the footy.

How I feel right now

Also known as how to waste half an hour on line




All dressed up but nowhere to go. My personal little rain cloud seems to be following me around.

(One good thing - all this time on line means I can't be bothered to cook. A Ms Batville weight loss tip - don't try this one at home kiddies.)

Disarming

I had a meeting today for a work with a man who I met once before, about a month ago for an hour. About half an hour into this second meeting with him I realised that he only had one arm. He was dressed in a suit which just sort of hung on one side.

How did I not notice this before? Very disconcerting to think I am that vague.

If only

Listening to News Radio (as one does when travelling home from another fruitless day in the office) I swear I heard a John Howard malapropism. Our PM declared that he couldn't take action over something because the Government would not go "open splatter". Personally I would welcome a bit of open splatter in Australian politics right now - would amp up the interest level.

Why did I get out of bed?

I have my doubts that anyone will read this but if you are - be prepared for whiny whinge (that is Australian for a complaining diatribe).

Another long day at work and nothing much achieved. It is not as though I don't have work to do. Some of it is even interesting - I just can't get motivated.

I am great at the meetings and the gabbing. For some reason I just can't bring myself to start putting it down on paper as I am required to do. Some years ago I put this down to a fear that my writing was not that great, but I know now that my writing is fine (comparatively), my reasoning is fine and the end product (when I get around to it) is damn good.

But instead of starting the work I have to do, I found myself having coffees, checking out the net, wandering around and applying for a new credit card online. The really stupid thing about all of this is that for the first time since I started work I am facing the prospect that if I can't do a better job and up my game I may have to get another job. I am so damn specialised I have no idea what else I could do or what else to do.

So, chances are I will have another sleepless night, leaving to a dreary day where I am too tired to concentrate properly so yet another deadline will slip by and I will be in even more strife. I really need to snap out of this and get motivated. The question for me is how?

Is this in fact the same person?

One of these men is allegedly Tony Burke, ALP member for Watson and shadow Minister for Immigration. The other is supposedly Andrew Gaze, former Olympian and Australia basketball superstar. Are they in fact the same person? Have they been seen in the same place at the same time?

More importantly, which one would you pick to take out Amanda Vanstone?

OR

Cooking fantasies

I spent half an hour exploring Ban Ban Homewares in Victoria Street, Abbotsford this week. It is an Asian cookware store, with shelf upon shelf of cheap items. There is a whole section devoted horrible plastic things, you know, the kind that will discolour within a few weeks of use. The store attendants seemed to spend the whole time I was in there screeching violently at one another. Of course I don't speak their language so it is presumptious (and maybe gasp...culturally insensitive) of me to presume they were screeching. Nonetheless their tone was so intense that I hesitated to ask them questions such as "You see this lovely looking metal thing here, what does it actually do?"

I spent my time there in a bit of a daze, imagining myself as some sort of Kylie Kwong cook, with a whole kitchen full of interesting utensils, dazzling my friends with dinner parties. The reality is however that I have a tiny kitchen which is already crammed full, very modest cooking ability and I hardly ever host dinner parties. I also have an aversion to cooking any animal which resembles the creature it once was. As a result I'm great with mince and chicken breasts, but not much else. So after my flight of fancy, accompanied by background screeching, I left with a tiny purchase of six chinese soup soons - perfect for those not very frequent occasions when five friends join me for takeaway Asian soup! A bargain at 90c each, but not when you consider that it could be years and years before they get used (if ever).

Gasp. Does this photo make it justifiable?

Well my dear little neglected blog - I love you.

I normally abhore the habit encouraged in the coffee shops of large chain bookstores of reading books or magazines that you have no intention of buying . The coffee is usually terrible, the food is overpriced and I hate to think that someone might later purchase a book with my crumbs in it.

I did however, overcome my moral objection yesterday when in Borders I spotted Clive Owen on the front of a US GQ. Ten minutes later I was enconsed in the mag, sipping a not great hot chocolate and eating a piece of so-so cheesecake. I might add it was a very very pleasant experience!

Yikes, do I give up on my principles that easily, just to gawk at photos of an extremely handsome British actor? Apparently, yes.

An insult to all Batvillians

I live in an inner Melbourne suburb. I am female. I work in the CBD. I am originally of pale Anglo-Celtic stock. Ergo I wear a lot of black.

There are three supermarkets in and around my suburb. Two of them stock "Dynamo Dark Clothes Wash" which is perfect for keeping the dark side suitably muted. The one nearest to me does not. Why? They are all the same chain. Arguably the one nearest to me is also the most edgy or is at least closest to both the student housing and the clothes shops . However, if I want to preserve my blackness I must traipse to one of the other supermarkets.

Why this local anti-black bias? It is an outrage

Question - If Melbourne was nearly called Batville (and Batmania) is it correct to call Melbournians "batvillians" or "batvilliagers"?

Why blog?

Why is it that a person suddenly feels the need to start a blog and (hopefully) share their thoughts with the world? Is it that they are lonely? In need of attention? Maybe in the middle of a busy world, in what seems to be a perfect job, surrounded by self-important folk, I need a space to be truly honest.

Seems to me that the older we get, and the more successful we are, the only time we are truly honest is when we are with kids. I don't have any of my own, but I am lucky enough to have two small friends with whom I can really be myself. The rest of the time I have to 'put on a face' - the "professional" face, the "boss" face, the "good daughter" face or the "god I hope I am hiding how bad this date is going" face.

So let me know - how honest can you really be in a blog? Do you self-edit? Does a fear of being identified limit what you say? Guidance for the newbie welcome....

Melbourne