Stickler alert - Why "devine"?
I have been hoping that I will not turn into one of those grumpy types who wanders around with a texta in order to correct spelling and grammar in public signage, and who hassles shop assistants about matters outside their control. To my shame, I think I might be.
Yesterday I happened to be in the Bourke Street mall and I wandered past the lovely windows at David Jones with all the nice new autumn/winter clothes. Normally I love DJ's. The staff are usually helpful, the refit of their ground floor beauty area is lovely and you can hide away their in an air conditioned and artificially lit cocoon and mentally spend away your entire year's pay on products that you would probably never apply.
Featured in the shop in large posters was the beautiful "god I would love to hate her but really I just want to look like her" Megan Gale as part of DJ's makeup/beauty booklet . Leaving aside that the booklet appears to be inspired by and directly rip off the Mecca Cosmetica catalogue, it is full of tempting ideas and Megan looks stunning. I would upload a photo of the front cover but Blogger is conspiring against me. You can check it out here.
Spot anything? Part of it reads "Devine Goddess Flawless Face Luminous Glow". "Devine Goddess" is the name used as a brand of cosmetics by Napoleon Perdis, this man:
Now, Napoleon here might be a OK sort of guy if you want your makeup applied by George Michael. Personally, I think he is likely to be a complete tosser. According to his website "The Napoleon Perdis philosophy is not dictated by fashion - it's about celebrating and empowering your natural beauty with products that have built-in educators and pro-tips." I'm not sure what the built-in educators are, but I'm pretty sure his eye shadows do not come equipped with a set of Encyclopedia Britannica.And they sure as hell don't come equipped with a dictionary. What is "devine" anyway? I googled this and apart from one entry that suggested "devine" meant "a beautiful woman" (methinks Napoleon wrote that), it ain't a word. It sure as hell isn't a word according to the OED.
What is wrong with the traditional spelling? What did the first "i" in "devine" do to offend Napoleon? Maybe Napoleon's clientele (those who attend the Perdis Academy and those who spend their life on the Vogue Australia forums) can't spell "divine"?
It might be alright for Napoleon and his built-in educated women to misspell words, but I expect more from DJ's. This made me quite irrationally grumpy. Luckily for DJ's I didn't deface their posters.
In my grumpy mood I wandered over to Jurlique when I was met by a snobby bitch attendant who peered down her nose at me as I was something that crawled out from underneath an Australis counter. "Ha!" I thought, "I can have some fun".Pulling myself to my full height I glanced over to her with my best "I want to spend money" face. She half smiled and asked me if she could answer any questions about Jurlique. "Ha!" I thought as I prepared to ask her about Jurlique's $3.4 million dollar fine for resale price maintenance. Then it occurred to me that it would be a bit like hitting a pigeon, she would blink wildly but no expression would register and she might flap away.
So I felt cruel and, as such, slunk back out into the daylight where my aversion to pretentious makeup retailers, wankers called Napoleon and spelling errors could be washed away by the daylight.
13 comments:
Our tolerance is always pushed when we have been busy, busy (even if some is busy-busy is in the ahem,...let's call it kissing way)
It was a long weekend here, and on Monday, rather than Regatta/Hobart Cup, I stayed on the couch with Mr Faulkes and Human Traces. Or I had planned to; the publisher has used a teeny-weeny font - daylight reading was quite difficult
"Built in educators"?
*blinks*
*looks around*
Que?
Ms B, darling, it's been more than a month again. I know it's been said before, but "Put that boy down and start posting again!"
Where are you B?
Hi! I came here from links at Restless In Reservoir and had no idea you had a link to me.
Don't take my blogname seriously - come over and say anything you like anytime, please.
My friend always spells it devine in her letters and I dare not disapprise her.
For a while I thought I had it wrong.
Another friend paid a lot for the Napoleon make-up course and dragged me as her required 'mature' model to a session. After being painted for an entire afternoon I looked completely and magnificently different. I felt so good I had the unusual confidence to swan into o'Connells with her for a drink. That little moment was probably the only good thing to come out of her course expense though.
Just tip-toeing in to see if you're home...but you're not. Wherever you are , hope you're loving every moment. Drop us a line occasionally.
Oh I agree about this Napleon fellow. I don't want anyone who plucks his eyebrows more than I do applying my make up thankyouverymuch.
Hey come back, you're being missed ;)
Hear, Hear!
Ms B, do come a grogbloggin' with we! I'm trying to drag together my fave Melbourne types at 7pm on the 29th. Please email me at halfheartedhack@yahoo.com.au if you'd care to partake. We'd love to see you :)
Just so you know, I'm still checking this page four times a week.
Hope you're well.
That is it - you have shamed me i'm not Craig. I will endeavour to be a better blogging compatriot (so love to honeybear).
Thanks to snoskred, watershedd and redcap - you all know how to make a girl feel wanted. I've missed you all - have been catching your posts mostly, but just struggling to put fingertip to keyboard. Looking forward to the catching up.
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